Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

I Didn't Squawk About The Steak, Dear. I Merely Said I Didn't See That Old Horse That Used To Be Tethered Outside Here.

Christmas At My House Is Always At Least Six Or Seven Times More Pleasant Than Anywhere Else. We Start Drinking Early. And While Everyone Else Is Seeing Only One Santa Claus, We'll Be Seeing Six Or Seven.

Set Up Another Case Bartender! The Best Thing For A Case Of Nerves Is A Case Of Scotch.

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.