Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

I Once Donated A Pint Of My Finest Red Corpuscles To The Great American Red Cross And The Doctor Opined My Blood Was Very Helpful; Contained So Much Alcohol They Could Use It To Sterilize Their Instruments.

All The Men In My Family Were Bearded, And Most Of The Women.

Anyone Who Hates Children And Animals Can't Be All Bad.

California Is The Only State In The Union Where You Can Fall Asleep Under A Rose Bush In Full Bloom And Freeze To Death.

Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain Unless You've Used Up All The Other Four-letter Words.