Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

I Like Children - Fried.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

I Drink Therefore I Am.

How Is The Human Race Going To Survive Now That The Cost Of Living Has Gone Up Two Dollars A Quart?