Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.

I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen The Way It Rusts Pipes?

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.

Marriage Is Better Than Leprosy Only Because It's Easier To Get Rid Of.

I Never Met A Kid I Liked.