A Merry Christmas To All My Friends

I Didn't Say The Meat Was Tough. I Said I Didn't See The Horse That Is Usually Outside.

Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards Yourself.

What Would You Do If You Were President, And, On The First Day Of May, The Russian Ambassador Presented You With A Beautiful Cake Which Emitted A Curious Ticking Noise? Would You Plunge It Into A Pail Of Water - Thus Insulting Soviet Cuisine In General?

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

I Don't Believe In Dining On An Empty Stomach.