A Merry Christmas To All My Friends

Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

If It Is A Joint Return, We Are Instructed To Print The Given Names Of Both Husband And Wife. But Since Some Of The Names That Husband And Wife Give Each Other Are Hardly Suited To Print, We Must Proceed Cautiously.

Dentists, Lawyers, Doctors Are All A Bunch Of Thieving Bastards.

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

Thou Shalt Not Steal-only From Other Comedians.