My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The

When My Wife Drives, There's Always Trouble. The Other Day She Took The Car. She Came Home. She Told Me, There's Water In The Carburetor. I Asked Her, Where's The Car? She Said, In A Lake.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

I'd Like To Get Some New Clothes, But I Can't Find A Big And Short Store.

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.