People Seldom Live Up To Their Baby

My Cousin Is Gay, I Always Tell Him That In Our Family Tree, He's In The Fruit Section.

The Other Night A Mugger Took Off His Mask And Made Me Wear It.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

I Tell Ya, I Know The Best Way To Get Girls. I Hang Out At Women's Prisons, And Wait For Parolees.