My Uncle Is A Southern Planter. He's

I Don't Have To Look Up My Family Tree, Because I Know That I'm The Sap.

I Have Just Returned From Boston. It Is The Only Thing To Do If You Find Yourself Up There.

We Are Living In The Machine Age. For The First Time In History The Comedian Has Been Compelled To Supply Himself With Jokes And Comedy Material To Compete With The Machine. Whether He Knows It Or Not, The Comedian Is On A Treadmill To Oblivion.

I Don't Want To Own Anything That Won't Fit Into My Coffin.

In Show Business, More Showgirls Are Kept Than Promises.