To A Newspaperman, A Human Being Is

A Psychiatrists Is The Next Man You Start Talking To After You Start Talking To Yourself.

I Was Just Working In The Shop And All Of A Sudden Something Just Triggered In Me, And I Started Shaking. And Then I Walked Back Into The House And My Wife Asked, 'what's The Matter?' And I Said, 'i Don't Feel Good.' And Tears, Uncontrollable Tears, Was Coming Out Of My Eyes And She Says, 'what's The Matter?' And I Told Her. I Said, 'i Just Thought About That Execution That I Did Two Days Ago, And Everybody Else's That I Was Involved In.' And What It Was, Something Triggered Within, And It Just, Everybody - All Of These Executions All Sprung Forward.

I Like Long Walks, Especially When They Are Taken By People Who Annoy Me.

Some Movie Stars Wear Their Sunglasses Even In Church. They're Afraid God Might Recognize Them And Ask For Autographs.

Hanging Is Too Good For A Man Who Makes Puns; He Should Be Drawn And Quoted.