He's So Small, He's A Waste Of

Condensed Milk Is Wonderful. I Don't See How They Can Get A Cow To Sit Down On Those Little Cans.

We Are Living In The Machine Age. For The First Time In History The Comedian Has Been Compelled To Supply Himself With Jokes And Comedy Material To Compete With The Machine. Whether He Knows It Or Not, The Comedian Is On A Treadmill To Oblivion.

I Like Long Walks, Especially When They Are Taken By People Who Annoy Me.

I Learned Law So Well, The Day I Graduated I Sued The College, Won The Case, And Got My Tuition Back.

A Telescope Will Magnify A Star A Thousand Times, But A Good Press Agent Can Do Even Better.