My Mother Always Said Don't Marry For

I've Been On So Many Blind Dates, I Should Get A Free Dog.

I Get My Sense Of Humor From My Parents. That's Why They Don't Have One Anymore.

I Don't Think I Was Funny Until College. I Lived With Some Harvard Md/phd Students - They Were So Smart, And What I Contributed To The House Was, I Was The Funny One.

I Just Got My First Bikini. It's A Three-piece: A Top, A Botton, And A Blindfold For You.

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?