My Mom Took Me To A Dog

I Took My Son To Coney Island, I Said "wanna Go In The Crazy House?", He Said "save Your Money We'll Be Home Soon"!

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

I Drink Too Much. The Last Time I Gave A Urine Sample It Had An Olive In It.

You Wanna Have Laughs? Do What I Do. When I Go Through A Tollbooth, I Keep Going. I Tell The Guy, The Car Behind Me Is Paying For Two.

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.