I Have Three Kids, One Of Each.

My Sex Life Is Terrible; My Wife Put A Mirror Over The Dog's Bed. Actually She Did Put A Mirror Over Our Bed. She Says She Likes To Watch Herself Laugh.

The Other Night A Mugger Took Off His Mask And Made Me Wear It.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. In My House, We Pray After We Eat.

Group Sex, Are You Kidding, I Had Group Sex - My Wife Screwed In Front Of The Jury.