I Have Three Kids, One Of Each.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

All My Wife And I Do Is Fight About Sex. The Other Night, We Really Had It Out. Well, I'll Put It This Way - I Had It Out.

I Told My Doctor I Got Water On My Knee, He Gave Me A Sponge And Raised His Fee!

We Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again.