I Have Three Kids, One Of Each.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. On My Street, The Kids Take Hubcaps - From Moving Cars.

My Mother Used To Rock Me - And She Used Big Rocks.

I Asked My Old Man If I Could Go Ice-skating On The Lake. He Told Me, "wait Til It Gets Warmer."

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.