Reciting Lines Is Hard; Making Stuff Up

Hookers Don't Like To Snuggle.

When You're Doing Standup You're Kind Of Doing, "hey. I Thought Of This. This May Be Funny.

I'm Proud Of The Hangover, But To Be In Movies Like This, Which Are Really The Only Places I Can Get Work, It's Really Quite The Opposite Of What I Am. I Like Sensitive Art-house Movies. I'm Not Even Much Of A Partier. I Mean, I'll Drink Myself Into Oblivion Alone In My Car.

If You Read My Blog, You Know I'm A Pilates Freak. And By Pilates, I Mean Waffles.

Actually, I Used To Be A Busboy In A Strip Joint In New York And So I Hate Strip Joints. I'm Not That Kind Of Person.