My Father Once Told Me, And It's

My Dad Told Me If I Was Ever Intimidated By Anyone, Just Picture Them With Their Clothes Off. He Said That's How He Dealt With My Mom.

I Have The Brain Of A German Shepherd And The Body Of A 16-year-old Boy; They’re Both In My Car And I Want You To See Them

My Father Once Told Me, And It's Stuck With Me To This Day: As You Walk Through Life, Every Time You Fart It Pushes You Forward.

My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The Choice To Have Valuable Times With Human Beings That I Care About Instead Of Holing Myself Up Alone To Get My Work Done.

It's Smart To Marry Your Yoga Teacher So When You Get Divorced You Know How To Go Down On Yourself.