I'm Fortunate To Know A Lot Of

I'm A Believer That When One Door Closes Another One Opens. But Why Does The One Opening Always Hit Me Full-speed-knob-first Into My Nuts?

My Mom Just Told Me It's Impossible To Know What's Going To Happen In Life. Except With Breakfast, Cause She Eats The Same Thing Every Day.

I Will Always Prefer A Hardback Book, But I'm Drawn To Digital Because It's So Easy To Acquire Them When I'm Having A Need-to-read Moment.

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.