My Earliest Childhood Memory Was Watching My

I Caused My Husband's Heart Attack. In The Middle Of Lovemaking I Took The Paper Bag Off My Head. He Dropped The Polaroid And Keeled Over And So Did The Hooker. It Would Have Taken Me Half An Hour To Untie Myself And Call The Paramedics, But Fortunately The Great Dane Could Dial.

Grandchildren Can Be Annoying - How Many Times Can You Go: "and The Cow Goes Moo And The Pig Goes Oink"? It's Like Talking To A Supermodel.

The Palestinians Cannot Throw Rockets And Expect People Not To Defend Themselves

Half Of All Marriages End In Divorce- And Then There Are The Really Unhappy Ones.

Never Buy A Fur From A Vegetarian.