I Am Furious About Everything.

Your Proudest Moment Is To Watch Your Egg Not Just Function, But To Achieve On Her Own.

"i Wouldn't Go Over Here To Lisa Rinna And I Would Say 'are Those Breasts Real, Are You Wearing Underwear?'"

How To Fool Yourself Into Feeling Younger: When You Go To Restaurants, Always Check A Coat And A Skateboard.

You Know Why I Feel Older? I Went To Buy Sexy Underwear And They Automatically Gift Wrapped It.

You Have To Do More Than Just Kill Time Or Time Will Quickly Kill You.