At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep

I Love The Way My Life Has Fallen Into Place.

The Psychic Scars Caused By Believing That You Are Ugly Leave A Permanent Mark On Your Personality.

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.

I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The Tampon Make Me Look Fat?'

I Don't Think There'd Be A Tina Fey Now If I Hadn't Tried To Look Good In The Beginning.