My Computer Beat Me At Checkers, But

Recently, I've Ventured Into The Mammal Family - So That's Good For My Sex Life.

I Love My Family. I Came Home The Other Days. My Brother's Passed-out On The Couch, Holding An Empty Bottle Of Sleeping Pills. So I Called The Paramedics, And They Pumped His Stomach, And I Think He's Learned His Lesson: You Know, Never To Take My Last Two Sleeping Pills.

People Come Up To Me... Concerned... That I'll Reproduce.

When I Was Ten, My Family Moved To Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I Was Twelve, I Found Them.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.