I Was At The Wal-mart, Which Is

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

My Sister Just Had A Baby. We Can Have Company Over. She'll Be In Front Of Everyone With Her Um... Breast... Out Feeding It. You Know... Cereal Or Whatever.

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

I've Always Kind Of Pushed The Envelope In Terms Of Trying To Get Away With Things No One Else Was Going Near. I Always Thought Of Myself Like A Mouse Trying To Get Cheese That No One Else Could Get Without Getting Their Tail Snipped Off.

Well! I Feel Happy These Days. I've Started Taking A Herbal Anti-depressant. It's Called Saint John's Wort. Apparently It's The Best-selling Anti-depressant In Many Places. It's The Most Popular Anti-depressant In Germany... After, I'm Guessing, Amnesia.