I Was At The Wal-mart, Which Is

I Got In A Fight One Time With A Really Big Guy, And He Said, "i'm Going To Mop The Floor With Your Face." I Said, "you'll Be Sorry." He Said, "oh, Yeah? Why?" I Said, "well, How Are You Going To Get Into The Corners?"

I Was At The Wal-mart, Which Is Where I Think Everybody Goes Eventually. If They Die Without Christ.

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.

I've Been At Stand-up 26 Years Now: After A While, You Get As Jaded As The Proverbial Gynecologist Who No Longer Enjoys Drugging And Violating His Patients.

When I Was Ten, My Family Moved To Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I Was Twelve, I Found Them.