Mothers Don't Want To Pinch Me Or

I Cant Stand Those Food Cult People Who Bring Their Own Food Into The House. All Those Little Thermoses And Paper Bags-it Makes The Other Guests Uncomfortable.

The Dining Room In My Old House Was Truly Magnificent, But By Far The Worst Room For Conversation. I'd Get Up From The Table, A Very Long Table, And Somebody Would Always Say, Paul, I Never Got To Talk To You.

If I Hadn't Become A Celebrity, I'd Probably Be An Alcoholic.

Someday I'm Going To Go Onstage In A Dress If I Want To.

I Can't Even Get Three Weeks Off To Have Cosmetic Surgery.