Modesty Is My Best Quality.

Bill Paley Is Not Only The Greatest Boss I Ever Had, But He's The Most Brilliant, Honest And Warm Human Being I've Ever Met. And I'll Say That To His Face - Even If It Costs Me My Job.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

Everything Good That Happened To Me Happened By Accident.

I Don't Deserve This Award, But I Have Arthritis And I Don't Deserve That Either.

I Was Going To Buy My Girl A Packard Car For Christmas, But It Took Too Long To Deliver, So I Bought Her Some Handkerchiefs.