Everything Good That Happened To Me Happened

The Only Way I'll Ever Get Hurt In The Casino Is If There's An Earthquake And A Slot Machine Falls On My Foot.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

There's Only Five Real People In Hollywood. Everyone Else Is Mel Blanc.

Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles Through The Snow, Barefoot, Just To Return A Library Book So He Could Save Three Cents - That's My Kind Of Guy.