Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

It's A Wonderful Thing, The D.t.'s. You Can Travel The World In A Couple Of Hours. You See Some Mighty Funny And Curious Things That Come In Assorted Colors.

The First Thing Any Comedian Does On Getting An Unscheduled Laugh Is To Verify The State Of His .

Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though I Do Not Often Use It In Signing Legal Documents)

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.