Buried My Wife The Other Day. Had

The Nation Needs To Return To The Colonial Way Of Life, When A Wife Was Judged By The Amount Of Wood She Could Split.

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though I Do Not Often Use It In Signing Legal Documents)

If There's A Will, Prosperity Can't Be Far Behind.