Buried My Wife The Other Day. Had

I Spent Half My Money On Gambling, Alcohol And Wild Women. The Other Half I Wasted.

There Comes A Time In The Affairs Of Man When He Must Take The Bull By The Tail And Face The Situation.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

If I Had To Live My Life Over, I'd Live Over A Saloon.

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.