When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky

If I Ever Found A Church That Didn't Believe In Knocking All The Other Churches, I Might Consider Joining It.

I Write My Scripts Short And They Develop On The Set, Which I Have Found A Far Better Premise Both Economically And Practically.

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.