When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky

Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You Throw Her Out Into The Yard On A Cold Night, She Can Still Survive.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

I Drink Therefore I Am.

I'm Looking For Loopholes. (said When Caught Reading The Bible.).

I Have A Poor Memory For Names; But I Seldom Remember A Face.