When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky

Marriage Is Better Than Leprosy Only Because It's Easier To Get Rid Of.

No One Likes The Fellow Who Is All Rogue, But We'll Forgive Him Almost Anything If There Is Warmth Of Human Sympathy Underneath His Rogueries. The Immortal Types Of Comedy Are Just Such Men.

To Me, These Biblical Stories Are Just So Many Fish Stories, And I'm Not Specifically Referring To Jonah And The Whale. I Need Indisputable Proof Of Anything I'm Asked To Believe.

I Could Be Stranded In Any Town In The United States With Ten Cents And Within An Hour Make $20 With The Shell Game.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.