Let's Face It, The Gene Pool Needs

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.

Viagra Has Instructions: 'keep Away From Children' - What Kind Of Man Do You Think I Am?

I Go Around The Country And Do A Simple Gag Like, 'the Property Ladder Is Now A Snake' And Get A Real Laugh.

I Said To My Girlfriend, You Shouldn't Eat Before You Swim. She Said, "why Not"? I Said, You Look Fat.

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.