I Go Around The Country And Do

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.

Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love' With You.

I Love Those People Who Do Story-telling And Who Ramble On, But I Don't Do That, I Tell Jokes - The Sort Of Jokes That Anyone Really Could Tell In The Pub.

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.