Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.

Have You Seen That Magazine Barely Legal? That Means When You Look At It, You're Almost A Pedophile.

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.

I Get Recognized, But I'm Not Really A Famous Famous.

Here's A Tip: Never Get Drunk While Wearing A Hooded Sweatshirt. You Will Eventually Think There's Someone Right Behind You.

I Don't Think I'm A Star Or A Celebrity Or Any Thing Like That.