Sparklers Are The Gay Cousins Of The

I've Never Had A Surprise Birthday Party. I've Had Every Other Type Of Surprise. I've Had Surprise Beatings, Surprise Drug Tests, Surprise Daughter I Think.

This One Guy, The Worst Guy In The Music. The Yanni Man. You Know Yanni? First Of All, Anyone Who Looks Like A Magician And Doesn't Do Magic, I Don't Like. I Don't Even Like Magic, I Hate It. But I Love The Word, "ta-da"! I Love That Word! I Don't Get To Say It, Right? I Never Do Any Magic. You Just Can't Go Around Walking, "ta-da!" "ta-da!" "ta-da!" The Only Time I Can Say It Is When I Do Something Really Stupid Or Surprising. Like If I Go Out All Night Drinking And Hitting Strip Clubs And I Come Home And I Still Got Some Money... "ta-da!" I Thought I Was Broke. Why Does My Jaw Hurt?

I Have Soundtracks For A Lot Of Stuff.

For Me, Molly Hatchet Is High School. It Makes Me Feel Like I Have Hair And A Future.

I Have An Imagination Because My Life Is So Boring That My Imagination Lets Me Get Off The Reality Of What's Going On.