When I First Saw A Strap On,

You Know What Wakes Me Up? A Tongue In The Ass. There Is No Alarm Clock On That One, You Are Up, You Are Shaking, You Are In A Karate Stance.....the Day Has Begun.

Why Do They Collect Garbarge At 5am? Why? It's Garbage. It's Not Going To Go Bad Again.

You Can Say, 'can I Use Your Bathroom?' And Nobody Cares. But If You Ask, 'can I Use The Plop-plop Machine?' It Always Breaks The Conversation.

Have You Seen That Magazine Barely Legal? That Means When You Look At It, You're Almost A Pedophile.

You Ever Make Fun Of Someone So Much, You Think You Should Thank Them For All The Good Times You've Had?