When I First Saw A Strap On,

I'm Sorry, Was That Homophobic? No--i Think It Was, 'cause I Hear That A Lot. Dave, What?, You're Talking About Being Gay. You Probably Secretly Are Gay. And I'm Like Listen Voice In My Head, I'm Not! How Do You Know You Wouldn't Like It? How Do You Know You Wouldn't Like It? I Know I Wouldn't Like It, Other Scarier Voice In My Head! 'cause One Time While Making A Sandwich, A Cucumber Went Up My Ass. Three Times.

I Have A Lot Of Pot Tendencies. I'm Always Late, I Laugh For No Reason, I Watch Jeopardy! With The Sound Off And Make Up My Own Questions.

Being On The Road Is Kind Of Lonely.

Everyone Was Laughin'. Even That Deaf Mute Boy Was Breathing Heavy And Pointing At Me. Which Is Laughter To Their Kind.

Even Now, As We Speak, People Are Having Sex With Animals. And We Wonder Why The Animals Attack Us.