I've Been Looking For A Girl Like

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

I'm Going To Iowa For An Award. Then I'm Appearing At Carnegie Hall, It's Sold Out. Then I'm Sailing To France To Be Honored By The French Government - I'd Give It All Up For One Erection.

My Favourite Poem Is The One That Starts 'thirty Days Hath September' Because It Actually Tells You Something.

You Bet I'm Shy. I'm A Shyster Lawyer.

Dig Trenches? With Our Men Being Killed Off Like Flies? There Isn't Time To Dig Trenches. We'll Have To Buy Them Ready Made.