I've Been Looking For A Girl Like

I Met My Wife On A Ferry Boat, And When We Landed She Gave Me The Slip

Why Don't You Bore A Hole In Yourself And Let The Sap Run Out?

I Don't Want To Join The Kind Of A Club That Accepts People Like Me As Members.

Just Give Me A Comfortable Couch, A Dog, A Good Book, And A Woman. Then If You Can Get The Dog To Go Somewhere And Read The Book, I Might Have A Little Fun.

Practically Everybody In New York Has Half A Mind To Write A Book, And Does.