I've Been Around So Long, I Knew

Why A Four-year-old Child Could Understand This Report. Run Out And Find Me A Four-year-old Child. I Can't Make Head Nor Tail Out Of It.

No, Groucho Is Not My Real Name. I Am Breaking It In For A Friend. I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception. I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It. I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

I Must Say I Find Television Very Educational. The Minute Somebody Turns It On, I Go To The Library And Read A Good Book. Another Version I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. Another Version I Find Television Very Educational. Every Time Someone Turns It On, I Go In The Other Room And Read A Book.

She Got Her Looks From Her Father. He's A Plastic Surgeon.

He [groucho's Father] Had Absolutely No Training, And If You Had Ever Seen One Of His Suits, You'd Realize What An Accurate Statement That Is. You See, Pop Never Used A Tape Measure. He Didn't Believe In It. He Said He Could Just Look At A Man And Tell His Size, With The Result That Frequently He'd Make A Pair Of Pants With One Trouser Leg Seven Or Eight Inches Longer Than The Other.