It's Much Easier To Make Jokes About

I Wish I Had Played Team Sports. I Think Every Kid Should. Teamwork Builds Character - Teaches People About Leadership And Cooperation.

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

Think Of All That Hard Work Our Founding Fathers Put In - The Revolutionizing, The Three-fifths Compromising, Having To Write The Entire Constitution With A Quill - And Yet They Neglected To Include The Right To Vote.

I'm Always Working On A Few Different Stories At Once, So There's Always Some Really Big Coffee Table Book I'm Carrying Around.

I Have Such Respect For People Who Do Non-fiction Casting After Settling On The Grandparents We Got For This. It Is Really Hard To Find People Who Are Not Fame-whores. We're Lucky These People Actually Wanted To Spend Their Time Doing This. All Of Them Would Have Much Rather Been Cooking Without The Cameras, Being With Their Families. That's Why They're Great Characters.