One Christmas My Father Kept Our Tree

I'd Rather Call Myself A Mischief-maker, An Imp, Rather Than A Satirist. Satirist Sounds So Self Important. Plus No One Is Calling Himself An Imp Right Now. It Makes Me Feel Special.

Look, Not Embracing The 'today' Show Is Soooo Yesterday.

Generally I Get Up At Around 7. But Oftentimes, I'll Be Lolling In Bed A Little Bit Earlier - Sometimes As Early As 5:45 - Filing In My Mind All The Things I Have To Get Done. Which Is, Of Course, Totally Unproductive.

Think Of All That Hard Work Our Founding Fathers Put In - The Revolutionizing, The Three-fifths Compromising, Having To Write The Entire Constitution With A Quill - And Yet They Neglected To Include The Right To Vote.

Wheel Of Fortune Was An Important Sat Prep For Me.