Burt Reynolds Once Asked Me Out. I

My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas Eve, He Fires One Shot And Tells The Kids Santa Committed Suicide.

Tranquilizers Work Only If You Follow The Advice On The Bottle - Keep Away From Children.

I Should Have Suspected My Husband Was Lazy. On Our Wedding Day, His Mother Told Me: "i'm Not Losing A Son; I'm Gaining A Couch."

The Only Parts Left Of My Original Body Are My Elbows.

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.