I Hate Smart Sales Clerks. I Said

Any Time Three New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Without An Argument, A Bank Has Just Been Robbed.

I Want My Children To Have All The Things I Couldn't Afford. Then I Want To Move In With Them.

I Have So Many Liver Spots, I Ought To Come With A Side Of Onions.

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

Would You Believe That I Once Entered A Beauty Contest? I Must Have Been Out Of My Mind. I Not Only Came In Last, I Got 361 Get-well Cards.