It Was A Tough School. The Kids

I Never Stole A Joke In My Life. I Just Find Them Before They're Lost.

My Son Has A Big Christmas Problem - What Do You Buy For A Father Who Has Everything And You're Using It?

I Take New Years With A Grain Of Salt And Three Aspirins.

All My Wife Wanted For Valentine's Day Was A Little Card - American Express.

On Valentine's Day, I Wired Flowers For My Mother-in-law, But She Found The Fuse.