I Take New Years With A Grain

You're Aging When Your Actions Creak Louder Than Your Words.

Your Marriage Is In Trouble If Your Wife Says, 'you're Only Interested In One Thing,' And You Can't Remember What It Is.

At The Christmas Party, The Secretary With The Long Red Hair Ate Three Pickles, And Four Salesmen Panicked.

I Just Filled Out My Income Tax Forms. Who Says You Can't Get Killed By A Blank?

I Live To Laugh, And I Laugh To Live.