List of Simon Hoggart Quotes

Canada Is Not So Much A Country As A Clothesline Nearly 4,000 Miles Long. St John's In Newfoundland Is Closer To Milan, Italy Than To Vancouver.

Reagan Is The Only Man To Take The Presidency As A Part-time Job, A Means Of Filling Up The Otherwise Empty Hours Of Retirement.

Curiously, It Is Hard Not To Be A Little Optimistic About The Future For Zimbabwe (as Nobody At All Calls It Yet, Except In Political Speeches). The Fear Is Not That There Will Be Mass Slaughter Of The Whites, Followed By Their Flight To South Africa And The Collapse Of The Economy, But That The Need To Retain White Confidence May Mean That The Blacks Are Badly Disappointed.

Disney World Has Acquired By Now Something Of The Air Of A National Shrine. American Parents Who Don't Take Their Children There Sense Obscurely That They Have Failed In Some Fundamental Way, Like Muslims Who Never Made It To Mecca.

Reagan Was A Flesh And Blood Version Of Any Other Mute National Emblem, Say The Statue Of Liberty. Everyone Knows What She Represents, But No One Would Dream Of Asking Her Opinion.

Fish Have Water, The Bushmen Of The Kalahari Have Sand, And Houstonians Have Interior Décor.

Corney & Barrow Are Proud To Have The Royal Warrant, Meaning That They Provide The Palace With Some Of The Greatest - And Necessarily Most Expensive - Wines From Around The World. I Am Pleased To Say That They Also Hold My Own Warrant, For Providing Exceptional Wines At - Surprisingly - Modest Prices.

Life Was So Much Simpler In Pre-video Days When Everyone Refused Invitations Because The 'forsyte Saga' Was On. Now We All Just Have A Long List Of Unwatched Shows, All Of Which, It Seems, Our Friends Are Raving About. I Feel As Outdated As If I Wore A Fair Isle Sweater, Ate Pot Noodle And Had A Two-bar Electric Fire In The Sitting Room.

The Chinese Do Make Vast Quantities Of Wine For Home Consumption, But You Wouldn't Want To Drink It Yourself.

Most Successful American Politicians Look Well-fed On Endorsements, Campaign Contributions And Chicken Dinners.

They're Called Virgin Trains Because They Don't Go All The Way.

I'm Often Amazed At The Way Politicians, Who Spend Hours Poring Over Opinion Poll Results In A Desperate Attempt To Discover What The Public Thinks, Are Certain They Know Precisely What God's Views Are On Everything.