It Is Impossible For A Cyclops To

Specifically In Stand-up, I Love Jokes. I Love Short, Structured Ideas And A Punchline.

Man Versus Woman Equals Fun. Man Versus Man Equals Gay. Woman Versus Woman Equals Awesome. Man Versus Pillow Equals Crazy. Pillow Versus Pillow Equals Crazy Awesome - That's A Real Pillow Fight Right There. You See Two Pillows Fighting, You Know Something's Going Down. They're Designed For Relaxation. If They're Fighting, What Hope Do We Have? One Time I Saw Two Geese Fighting, And I Was Like, 'this Is A Pillow Fight Ahead Of Time.

Turtles Are Greater Than Baby Nephews, Because It's Ok To Drop A Turtle.

To Make Even Fewer Friends Try Talking About Politics As Much As You Talk About Yourself.

It's Weird The Way "finger Puppet" Sounds Okay As A Noun... Ladies.