Vampires Probably Don't Have Great Breath.

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.

Sometimes I See A Bird Fly By And I Feel Jealous. But Then Other Times I See A Bird Fly Into A Closed Window And I Feel Laughing.

Drunken Behavior Will Not Be Tolerated, Except By Those Who Are Being Hilarious.

I Have Never Been In A Bad Mood And Near A Beach Ball At The Same Time. Causation? Correlation? Or Fate?

If Someone Throws A Pie At Your Face, Just Open Your Mouth Really Wide And Say, 'thanks For Feeding Me, A**hole.'