Canoe + Waterfall = I Don't Go

A Car Alarm Is A Way For A Car To Tell Everyone That Its Owner Is An Asshole.

It Would Be Nice If People Said, God Bless You Not Just When You Sneezed But Also When You Farted.

I Think The Best Thing About Being Dumb Is That It Makes Magic A Lot Better. Where The Hell Did That Rat Come From? I Dunno, But I'm Calling The Cops Because He Just Cut That Lady In Half.

Whenever I See An Autobiography For Sale In The Book Store I Just Flip To The About The Author Section. I'm Like, "done, Next!"

I Love Buster Keaton And I Love Physical Comedy When It's Done In An Emotionally Understated Way. I Just Like To Play It, And I Need The Attention.