I'm The Woman Who Used To Think

My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas Eve, He Fires One Shot And Tells The Kids Santa Committed Suicide.

I'm Beginning To Have Morning Sickness. I'm Not Having A Baby, I'm Just Sick Of Morning.

I'm Looking For A Perfume To Overpower Men - I'm Sick Of Karate.

My Mother-in-law Must Be The Probation Officer I Got For The Crime I Committed Of Marrying My Husband.

Right From The Start My Parents Had Left Me To Fend For Myself. Apparently Unaware That I Was A Kid, They Invariably Treated Me Like An Adult, Perhaps Because They Themselves Were No Spring Chickens.