I'm The Woman Who Used To Think

I Never Made `who's Who,' But I'm Featured In `what's That?'

Would You Believe That I Once Entered A Beauty Contest? I Must Have Been Out Of My Mind. I Not Only Came In Last, I Got 361 Get-well Cards.

One [expert] Said, 'always Have A Baby Sitter Who Is Acquainted With Your Children.' If They Were Acquainted With My Children, They Wouldn't Sit!

Never Go To Bed Mad. Stay Up And Fight.

... If I Invested In A Mouthwash Stock, Bad Breath Would Suddenly Become Popular.