... If I Invested In A Mouthwash

Have You Ever Known Anyone Who Bought A Fruitcake For Himself? Of Course Not. They Are Purchased As Christmas Gifts, Mostly For People You Don't Particularly Like.

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

When I Go To The Beauty Parlor, I Always Use The Emergency Entrance. Sometimes I Just Go For An Estimate.

Get Married With The Feeling It Is Going To Last. Not Like The Bride I Know Who Doubled The Wedding Cake Recipe And Froze One.

If It Weren't For Baseball, Many Kids Wouldn't Know What A Millionaire Looked Like.