I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

What's The Two Things They Tell You Are Healthiest To Eat? Chicken And Fish. You Know What You Should Do? Combine Them, Eat A Penguin.

When I First Saw A Strap On, I Put It On My Head And Ran Around Like A Rhino.

I Tell You One Thing That's Great About Children. They Don't Need A Show To Have Fun. What Do They Need? A Book Of Matches, Some Oily Rags, A Little Brother... That's All They Need.

Sparklers Are The Gay Cousins Of The Fireworks Family.

If You Take Off Your Pants And Her First Reaction Is, "awwww, Look At It...like A Little Baby Jesus." Time To Buy A Porsche.