I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

You Can Say, 'can I Use Your Bathroom?' And Nobody Cares. But If You Ask, 'can I Use The Plop-plop Machine?' It Always Breaks The Conversation.

You Know What Wakes Me Up? A Tongue In The Ass. There Is No Alarm Clock On That One, You Are Up, You Are Shaking, You Are In A Karate Stance.....the Day Has Begun.

Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.

Remember When You're Young And You Think Your Dad Is Superman? And Then You Grow Up And Realized He's Just A Drunk Who Wears A Cape.

I Have A Lot Of Pot Tendencies. I'm Always Late, I Laugh For No Reason, I Watch Jeopardy! With The Sound Off And Make Up My Own Questions.