I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes.

I Don't Mind A Crowd's Not Laughing; It's The Groans That Slow Down The Show.

Sex And Murder Are The Same. Well, You Say The Same After Both Don't You? "damn I Got To Get The Hell Out Of Here!" "what Was I Thinking!"

I Went Skiing Today, Too, Yeah. I Didn't Wanna Go. The Girl I'm Stalking Wanted To Go, So... I'm Not Kiddin!

I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes. I Like Writing A Joke, And I Like When A Joke Works, And I Like Other Comics Who Tell Jokes.

You Ever Make Fun Of Someone So Much, You Think You Should Thank Them For All The Good Times You've Had?