I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes.

You Know What My Drink Is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, That Is A Wild Man Drink. That Should Come With Bail Money, You Know What I'm Saying? Because On Jack, You Don't Know Where You're Going To End Up, But You Know When You Get There, You Won't Be Wearing Any Pants.

My Gym Has Two-pound Weights. If You're Using Two-pound Weights, How Did You Even Open The Door To The Gym? What's Your Dream? To Pump Up And Open Your Mail?

When I First Saw A Strap On, I Put It On My Head And Ran Around Like A Rhino.

Men Are Having Sex With Animals And We Wonder Why The Animals Attack Us. And I'll Tell You Why: It's Cuz Of That One Sick Man, And It's Up To Me And A Half-mexican To Stop Him.

You Know, Men And Women Are A Lot Alike In Certain Situations. Like When They're Both On Fire - They're Exactly Alike.