I Went Skiing Today, Too, Yeah. I

There's A Fine Line Between Masturbating While You Look Out A Window, And Masturbating While You're Looking In A Window. I'll Give You A Hint: One Of 'em Is Super Illegal.

I Have An Imagination Because My Life Is So Boring That My Imagination Lets Me Get Off The Reality Of What's Going On.

So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate Traveling, Mostly 'cause My Dad Used To Beat Me With A Globe.

Friends Are Important, Dontcha Think? Hmmm? I Think So. The Way I See It, You Got Friends, And You Got Your Best Friend, Big Difference. To Me, A Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move. A Best Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move A Body. That's How I Look At It.

Things Have Been Invented Because Of Alcohol. Like The Taser, Okay? Yeah! The Morning After Pill, Okay? The Reach-around. Judge Judy. What Has Pot Given The World? Hackey Sack? Yeah! Hilarious Ring Tones? Oh Gah! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It Sucks To Be A Champion At A Sport That Can't Get You Laid. It's An Unneeded Skill Like, I Dunno, Being The Best Banjo Player. Or A Squirter.