I'm Liberace Without A Piano.

If I Ever Completely Lost My Nervousness I Would Be Frightened Half To Death.

Comedy Is Exaggerated Realism. It Can Be Stretched To The Almost Ludicrous, But It Must Always Be Believable.

Someday I'm Going To Go Onstage In A Dress If I Want To.

My Dad Was A Ham, Too. He Could Sell Those Women Anything. Of All His Sons, I Was The Only One He Could Trust To Sell As Well As He Could. I Was Proud Of That.

As Far As Cookbooks Go, I Think Joy Of Cooking Is A Classic. I've Used It Over And Over Again. Julia Child Frustrates Me. By The Time You Get All Her Herbs Together, You're Exhausted