I'm Liberace Without A Piano.

I Have This Beautiful Antique Silver Wine Decanter That I Bought At An Auction. I Always Pour Wine From That.

Outsiders Develop Humor As A Defense; Why Do You Think Most Comedians Are Gay Or Jewish?

My Dad Was A Ham, Too. He Could Sell Those Women Anything. Of All His Sons, I Was The Only One He Could Trust To Sell As Well As He Could. I Was Proud Of That.

I Often Go On A Liquid Fast A Couple Of Days A Week. I Never Take Just Water. Instead, I'll Have Maybe Six Glasses Of Vegetable And Fruit Juices A Day.

Sandwiches Are Wonderful. You Don't Need A Spoon Or A Plate!