Someday I'm Going To Go Onstage In

If I Hadn't Become A Celebrity, I'd Probably Be An Alcoholic.

My Body May Have Been Abused, But It Certainly Hasn't Been Neglected.

I'm Liberace Without A Piano.

An Actor Shouldn't Undergo Psychoanalysis, Because There Are A Lot Of Things You're Better Off Not Knowing.

It Was The Worst Moment Of My Life. The Producer Came Up And Talked Me Back Into Going On Stage.