I'm A Huge Sports Fan But Have

I Always Told Everybody The Perfect Joke Would Be Where The Setup And Punch Line Were Identical.

This Would Have Been A Great Game To Watch If We Didn't Have Any Money On It.

Many People Are Skeptical About Marriage Of Michael Jackson And Lisa Marie Pressley. They Say, Lisa Marie Is More Of A Sit At Home Type, While Michael Jackson Is More Of A Homosexual Pedophile.

There Hasn't Been An Original Voice In Stand-up Since Sam Kinison.

I'm No Good At Anything But Comedy, Which I Think I'm Good At. I'm Absolutely No Good At Networking; I'm Terrible At Acting; I'm Terrible At Dealing With Executives; I'm Terrible At Collaborating. And I Say Whatever I Want To Say. But I Think I'm Good Enough At Comedy That I Can Survive. And I Don't Really Have An Ambition For Money.